Thanks To A Snake
by ChillyLove
Summary: One-shot. Who knew it would start with Rangiku's pet snake? HitsuRuki.


**This is just a short story I made to see if I was any good at making a story with humor? I will let you guys judge that...**

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**Errors are most likely to be found, so please forgive me for any errors you find.**

**Enjoy^^**

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**Thanks To A Snake.**

At the 10th squad's barracks, on the training grounds, in a bush, hiding, the raven haired soulreaper was watching while a white-haired captain was training. She had watched him for a long time. "Just figure out what he likes. That's easy. If you are invisible and can read minds" Rukia snorted to herself. "If lieutenant Matsumoto hadn't been out drinking with her friends and lieutenant Hinamori hadn't been at the 4th squads barracks, recovering, I could just ask one of them. Then I wouldn't appear a stalker"

Suddenly, she felt something on her leg. She looked down to see what it was. A green snake came slithering up her leg. Rukia tried to get it off without revealing she was there. "Get off! Get off!" She whispered in fear to herself. "Get off! Get off!" Her whispering began to get a bit louder. But the snake kept worming its way upwards. She couldn't take it anymore. She jumped out of the bush and shook the snake off of herself. She finally got it off. It landed on the ground. She ran at least five meters away from it.

She breathed in relief. "I hate snakes" She snorted.

"What in the world are you doing here, Kuchiki?" She turned to face the 10th squad captain. Under all the fuss she'd made about the snake, of course he could only have noticed her. He had a raised eyebrow and was looking at her with suspicion clear in his eyes. He was holding his zanpakuto in his hand. And the other hand was on his hip. "Well?"

She blushed. "I, eh, I just...I, uhm" She stuttered. "I just was, uhm, removing a snake from that bush" She mentally slapped herself for her stupidity.

The captain was looking at her in disbelief. "There are no snakes in that bush. What are you talking about?"

Now Rukia was the one who looked at the captain in disbelief. Hadn't she just been struggling with a snake right now? Maybe he didn't know a snake was in that bush. "How do you explain that green snake then?" She was pointing at the snake that was lying on the ground, five meters ahead.

The captain rolled his eyes. He went over and took the snake off the ground and walked back to Rukia. "This is Rangiku's pet snake. How did it end up in the bush?..."

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_Earlier that day._

_"Captain!" The busty orange blonde woman came cheerily running into the office, where her captain was sitting and doing some paper work._

_He flinched at her loud voice. "What is it now, Rangiku?"_

_The woman held out a snake. "Can you take care of little Rangiku junior for me? I am going drin- Uh, I mean deliver some papers" She laughed nervously._

_A vein popped on his forehead. "You were about to say drinking with your friends, weren't you?" He said through gritted teeth._

_She only waved with her hand and laughed some more, nervously. "No, of course not. I have no idea what you are talking about, captain"_

_He sighed. "Fine. Give me that stupid snake. But don't be out for too long. There is a lot of paper work to do. And you better not be too drunk!"_

_The woman looked at him in disbelief. "Captain? Are you letting me go out to drink?" She never in her life would imagine her captain saying something like that._

_He gave her a small smile. "You deserve it, Rangiku. You've helped me a lot the past couple of weeks" He then got a stern look on his face. "But don't think I will let you do something like this ever again!"_

_The woman was so happy. She squealed and threw her arms out in an attempt to hug her small captain. but she completely forgot about the snake. She accidentally let go of it and it flew out the window. She gasped. "Oh no! Poor little Rangiku junior!"_

_The captain sighed. "Don't worry about it, Rangiku. I'll find him. Just leave. But come back soon..."_

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"Oh, I remember now. I forgot all about the snake as I had too much paper work to do" He said to himself. "Anyway, thanks for finding it. Rangiku will be happy to get her snake back"

Rukia was confused. "Uhm, you're welcome" She couldn't understand how anyone could have a snake for a pet. How could they deal with that? And what kind of name was Rangiku junior? She sighed. Only Rangiku would come up with a name like that. If Rukia got a pet herself, it would be a bunny and she would call the bunny, Chappy, after her favorite rabbit.

"Anyway. What did you really want here?" The captain asked her. "I've sensed you in that bush for quite some time, but I didn't feel like doing anything about it"

Rukia's eyes widened. He had sensed her all this time. She shouldn't be too surprised. He was a captain after all. Of course he would have sensed her. And back to his question. She blushed. She couldn't just say 'I was just in that bush, stalking you to know what you like, so I can use that knowledge to make the right moves on you' That would just be stupid and desperate. Okay, maybe she was a little desperate, but she wouldn't let anyone know about that. She was a Kuchiki. And she should never ruin the Kuchiki's reputation. She had no idea what she should say.

"I am not trying to sound rude in any way, but If you have no explanation, I would appreciate it if you would be so kind to leave. I have my training to take care of" He turned to leave.

Rukia felt the desperation creep up again. "Wait! I was just wondering if you would like some watermelon!?" She shouted out to him. Watermelon? Seriously? That was just the lamest excuse. She felt like crawling into a wormhole.

But much to her surprise, the captain abruptly stopped in his tracks. He turned to her. "Did you say, watermelon?..."

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"Sorry guys, but I promised my captain to be home early and I've been here longer than I should, already" Rangiku announced as she was on her way out of the room. She'd been drinking with her friends.

Izuru was surprised. "You usually don't listen to your captain, Rangiku. Actually, you never use to leave before you're too drunk to even walk, either. You don't seem too drunk to me. Is something the matter?" He asked with concern.

Rangiku just laughed and waved with her hand. "No, no. Nothing to be worried about" She clapped her hands together. "Captain actually let me go this time. On the condition that I wasn't too drunk and came back early of course. He's never let me do something like this before. If I do as he says, maybe, even if he said he would never let me do it again, he maybe will" She beamed. And left with huge grin on her face.

The guys looked at each other. "If captain Hitsugaya will ever let her do this again, I will shave my head and call myself Ikkaku" Shuuhei said.

"Hey! Don't mock me!" Ikkaku yelled...

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Rangiku burst the office door open, expecting her captain to be complaining over some papers. But much to her surprise, there was only a note on the desk. She picked up the note and saw her captains handwriting.

_Rangiku, if you by any chance are back early as I told you to and I'm not here, I'm out eating watermelon with miss Kuchiki._

_Miss Kuchiki helped me with the paper work first, so you don't need to worry about that, but I highly doubt that you are worried at all._

_your snake is safe here with us._

_You may go back to your friends. Just knock yourself out. But don't think I want to hear any of your complaining in the morning of having headaches._

_Hitsugaya._

She re-read what stood on the paper. She blinked and read it again. She tried to rub her eyes and slapped herself to see if she was more drunk than she thought. She just couldn't believe it. Had her captain really been writing that note?

If this was a dream, she did not want to wake up.

She ran out the door and back to her friends. She waved the note before them. "I told you he would let me!" She yelled proudly. All the guys were gaping and Shuuhei was just anxious...

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"What do you think Rangiku is doing right now?" Rukia asked as she held a slice of watermelon in her hand. They were sitting on a porch.

Toshiro just shrugged. "Don't know. But right now, I don't really care" He said. He was holding a slice of watermelon in his hand. He gave Rukia his hand and she took it. "I just want to enjoy this watermelon with you" He smiled to her. Both bit down on the slices of watermelons the had and blushed. Still holding hands. The snake was comfortably lying on Toshiro's lap...

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Next morning. Rukia and Toshiro were already acting like a couple. And everyone were wondering if Shuuhei finally had lost it, as he was walking around with a shaved head and claimed his name was Ikkaku. And Ikkaku was chasing him down, while claiming he would kill him if it so had to be with a wooden sword.

Yes, things were getting interesting now. Who knew it would start with Rangiku's pet snake?

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**So? Was it any fun to read?**

**I hope you liked it^^**

**I know I rushed it with Toshiro and Rukia, but whatever.**

**Disclaimer: Bleach and it's characters belong to Tite Kubo. (The snake is mine tho) But if Bleach belonged to me, Rukia and Toshiro would most definitely end up as a couple^^**


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